Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Why the ladies love Dudes with long hair

Since I came out of the womb I've been sportin a mop. Not one of those "Totally Narly" mops but a "Rock the Motivator out". I have always received positive feed back from the Two Tunneled Valleys (ladies). I have figured out why exactly this attracts them. You know how your woman loves to go out partying with her girl friends, they go shopping, they talk on phones for hours, they sit around and watch movies together. It's because secretly 96% of women have lesbian fantasy's. It just rarely gets on because they both or all three or more, think that the others are completely against it. With the long hair its like a mirage, fools her into feeling comfortable, as if shes with one of the gals, but you got the ol test and hairy face to make her feel the Mandominance. So when Taint Waxers make a snide comment about your mop just remember, you attract potential lesbians. Thats motivatin awesome and remember kids dont say awesome, its a curse word, no one should be allowed to say it.

The woo of the tiger eyed bar tender

I was doin a gig in a little town called New York. Acme Underground was the name of the club. I played my show, ripped some flesh of the faces of those who were lucky enough to be in the front row. I noticed all night long the bar tender was eye motivatin me. So I rolled off the stage all sweatin & rocked ragged. I approached her a the bar. Now some times it can be hard to get the bar tender home with you, they get hit on all night. By the end of the night most bar tenders hate the opposite sex. So I say "This place is jumpin, your really workin hard in here". This lets her know you notice and appreciate her. Then I ask her name, I will hold my tounge on her Identity. She said "Well, what can I get for you". This right here is the closer, I said "I wanna whole lotta love." If noticin and apreciatin a lady along with a Robert Plant quote doesnt get you love......well then throw back a shot and head for the ugly chicks because you can say anything to them.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Why I know what they want.

Playing in a Metal band has brought me tremendous amounts of love from the opposite sex. From Bang-Cock to Antarctica, I've been there and loved on it. Its not just my Jackson that get them reeled in but, my compassion, my true mystical knowledge of romance (as taught by Ronnie James Dio). So if you want to keep informed or even comment on my Tiger ways drop in and fill yourself up a glass Hymgy Juice and soak up the knowledge

Hymgy: Refer to www.gettinwhiskeywithwhitechocolate.blogspot.com